A balanced life holds the key to health and happiness. The ancient Greeks called this ideal the “golden mean” and recommended “nothing in excess” as the way to achieve it.

The modern world can make life feel like nothing but excess, with its fast pace, technology, and constant change. Women face extra pressure from shifting hormones that leave them more vulnerable to stress and from a stress load that’s often higher than men’s because of more intense time demands for family obligations.

The good news is that women in their 50s and beyond have an important advantage in overcoming stress and restoring balance.

“By 50, you recognize problems and how to deal with them from experience,” said of Eva Ritvo, MD, associate professor of clinical psychiatry at the University of Miami in Florida and co-author of The Beauty Prescription. “That can give you confidence.”

Joyce Scott of Austin, TX, agreed. The 50-plus Scott is a business consultant, public speaker, and founder of Superb Speakers, a firm that supplies experts on a wide variety of topics. By the time a woman has reached 50, Scott said, she most likely has raised a family, developed a family schedule and routine, and mastered time management. She has negotiated deals with plumbers, contractors, and hired help. She has researched medical diagnoses that have affected family members.

In essence, Scott said, she has “what she needs to know to be a chief executive officer of any corporation”—and has all she needs to manage her own life, too.

Make it easier to succeed

Women can make it easier to succeed at balance by paying attention to fundamentals. For example, Ritvo noted women 50 and above must be mindful of their health to keep life in balance. “You’ve got to have proper nutrition,” she said. “You have to exercise.” She added that younger women can ignore these needs, but women over 50 can’t—their bodies won’t let them.

Also, give yourself regular quiet time. Scott’s first recommendation: “Turn off the TV.” Idle entertainment for hours at time, she explained, drains a woman’s ability to think for herself, analyze her situation, and develop solutions to problems.

Be in the moment

Judy Harrison, a Virginia-based life coach and woman past 50, believes that, if you make good choices that make sense in the present moment, you can bring harmony into your life.

“I think we tend to get out of balance when we think about the future and think about what I need to get done for this, or what I need to get done for that,” Harrison said. Instead, the real question should be, “What do I need right now to be more harmonious?”

When the unexpected happens, or life becomes overwhelming, Harrison recommended women concentrate on “what in this moment is really important.” For example, you may have an inventory of errands or a long to-do list, but if something important occurs, say a call from your grandchild, just let the schedule go, Harrison said.

“It’s all about knowing what you personally need,” she continued. “We tend to overcomplicate things.”

Make a plan

For many women, Harrison’s flexible, intuitive approach may be enough to achieve balance. Others may need a more structured approach, however.

For 67-year-old motivational speaker and author C. Leslie Charles of East Lansing, MI, “balance isn’t something that happens accidently. It’s something that’s planned” so you can do the things you love without guilt or reservation.

Charles developed the four-point PLAN program to integrate work, family, and spirituality so her life remains in balance:

● Play

● Leave time for you

● Amplify your attitude

● Nurture yourself

Many of us have been taught to behave, be quiet, and work hard, but “by the time you are 50, you have license to play,” Charles said. To embrace point one of her program, she suggested flirting with your spouse or partner, being silly, and looking at the world with awe and wonder like a child.

For point two, she urged women to resist overscheduling themselves so they have time for the things they enjoy. Point three, amplifying your attitude, means having a sense of humor, being enthusiastic, and smiling. For point four, she recommended “indulgences such as a bubble bath, or time with a good book,” or other self-nurturing. “Be willing to do something for yourself,” she said.

Live your dream life

In Scott’s case, this kind of strategic approach made all the difference in achieving balance and living the life of her dreams.

Married 39 years and the mother of two, she grew up “a poor black girl,” she explained. “I moved up from the projects and into the ghetto. When I first had the right to go into a restaurant, I was 14. In third or fourth grade, I was picking cotton in Louisiana. I was cleaning houses.”

She developed her plan as a teenager and has followed it ever since: she and her husband paid their way through college, raised their sons, achieved individual success in their own fields, and stayed connected to their religious community throughout their life journeys.

“I knew I could be in charge of my life,” she said. “I understand how to show people how to be successful.  It’s substantial planning. You plan balance in your life.”

Try something new

For Scott, part of life’s equilibrium is always pursuing a new skill or taking on a project that scares her. She hated public speaking as a younger woman, but with her sons’ help and prodding, she now does it for a living.

“If I have a fear, I research it and find a plan of attack,” she added.

Charles, like Scott, believes strongly in life-long learning. “I recommend you try something you have never done before,” she said. “It’s never too late. It actually balances your brain.”

A longtime equestrian who competed in dressage for many years, Charles had to give up competitive riding as she got older. She wanted to stay active, though, so she took up disc golf, which uses golf’s rules but is played with a Frisbee.

“I was lousy at it,” Charles said, laughing. 

So she worked at it and got better. She joined a women’s disc golf league and eventually broke a distance record. Then she won a national championship.

“It’s just never too late,” she said.

–Mary Voelker

Resources:

• C. Leslie Charles: http://www.lesliecharles.com/
• Judy Harrison:  http://www.judyharrison.com/
• Eva Ritvo, MD: http://psychiatry.med.miami.edu/About-Department/Faculty28/Eva-Ritvo.aspx
• http://www.thebeautyprescription.com/
• Joyce Scott:  http://www.superbspeakers.com