I walk up and down the halls of the Assisted Living facility with my Mom.  We take turns placing the mail in the slots provided outside the door of each unit.  Impressed with the words of encouragement Mom offered to whomever she encountered, I realized she was delivering more than just mail on her weekly rounds.  Once a week, on Wednesday afternoons, she takes the elevator to the first floor, grabs a cart from a closet that will assist her in her task, and wheels round to the reception desk asking for the bundles of mail which needs to be delivered to the residents of both Assisted Living and the Nursing Home.  Someone else has already separated the mail and written out the unit number on each piece, the route established, before she gets the bundles.

We begin mail delivery as we walk down one wing and she tells me anecdotes of the residents.  “She always gets a lot of magazines!” my Mom says, or  “This lady walks up and down the halls all day long”.  We comment on the nice art pieces hanging on the walls and the lovely seating area at the end of the hall, with windows looking out to a scenic view of snow and bare trees, an Indiana winter landscape.  We stop in to visit her friend and my godmother, who can barely see, hear or walk anymore.  Though glad to know I’m there, once I identify myself, Eileen launches into her litany of complaints.  My Mom happily suggests that Eileen could pray while she sits in her darkened room.  That’s it, I thought, Mom has always looked at the bright side of things!   I’m not surprised at all to hear her suggest Eileen might pray for others. That suggestion typifies the strong faith and optimistic view that Mom holds of the world. I recognize those traits in me, learned as a young girl, and smile as I know I have also have passed them on to my children.

Her strong faith and optimistic view, is evident still as she passes out her words of encouragement to all she encounters on her mail route: “How are you doin?” “Glad to see you back (from the hospital)”.  I’m transported back to my youth, as I walk these halls with her, recounting her suggestions to me to “turn it over” when dealing with a difficult situation.  I didn’t understand, then, how you “turned it over” and how doing so would relieve you of the anxiety, pain, or worry of the concern that would be bothering you.  I’ve come to learn, that there is a serenity that follows when one can, indeed, turn over problems to “the Good Lord”, as my Mother refers to Him.

At 92 years of age, we siblings consider Mom to be in fairly good health, all agreeing that we hope to be in as good of shape as she when we reach her age.  She walks slower these days, a broken hip 5 years ago stopped her more vigorous walking with her group of lady friends on Fridays but she continues to exercise on a stationery bicycle in the workout room of the Retirement Center where she lives. 

She is trying out hearing aids this month (surprised at all the sounds she now hears) so she can participate more fully in the conversations in the dining room.  She walks downstairs for dinner and typically sits at a table for four or six.  As she stated, “everybody else has hearing aids too and complains about them.”  At least she recognized, finally, that it wouldn’t be bad to try them out.  I’m convinced it is her positive outlook that will keep her using the hearing aids, even though they bother her, as she must learn to accept hearing different sounds, put them in and out of her ear, and remember to press a button to switch modes when she talks on the phone.

We return to her two-bedroom apartment, after delivering mail, and I look at the wall of Madonna (Mary and baby Jesus) pictures, which I helped her hang after she moved in, on one of my visits home.  “Look Mom, you’ve got all your friends back,” I said to her when the images were all hung.  Mom began collecting Madonna pictures when I was young and her collection spanned two walls in our living room growing up.  They too were a symbol of her strong, Irish Catholic faith that sustained her through the trials and tribulations of marriage, raising five children, living with my Dad after he suffered from heart attacks and watching his descent into dementia then years in a nursing home prior to his death.  All in all, Mom would maintain her deep conviction that “the Good Lord” would provide her with guidance and that Mary too would assist in solving problems of the day.

Though I didn’t stay faithful to my Catholic upbringing, I did stay faithful to living a “spiritual” life.  Mom used to declare that I was the “ecumenical one” because, beginning in high school, I was interested in learning about eastern religions.  I would come to believe more strongly in Angels and all things Spiritual than the Catholic way as the only way but I did, still, maintain a deep faith like my Mom.  My faith also sustained me through my own trials and tribulations of marriage, raising two children plus a divorce, learning to be a single Mom and then remarriage 10 years later.

I’m grateful for Mom’s optimistic view of the world, which my Dad also shared.  Between the two of them, I learned early on to see the cup ½ full as opposed to ½ empty, which would serve me well as I went about my own life.  Mom was thrilled that I was able to pursue both a career and family.  Even though she relinquished her career, working for American Airlines in the 40’s, after getting married, she instilled in me the idea that I could manage both a career and a home.  I never doubted her. 

Thanks Mom for your unwavering faith and support of your career minded, daughter!